OMG THIS GUYS LICENSE PLATE IS GETTNHRWET
Neighbors just bought a new bong. Got high with them and we decided to name it "Gary colemans sweet sugarlumps" these guys are hilarious
I made out with the bride. You tell me how my night was
I've hooked up with 3 different guys already this week...don't tell me I haven't been a productive member of society
I've never seen a grown man cry so much after getting jerked off by a stripper. I say it's the best $600 he ever spent.
It's totally ok to sleep with him. The only place I have feelings for him is in my vagina.
What's up with the fire hydrant in the laundry room?
I've noticed we have slowly begun to phase the "B" out of our Bromance.
I lost my flask somewhere between dancing shirtless to The Spice Girls and walking around Wawa opening/eating things and putting them back.
No one parties "Full Karen". She once broke a couple up at the bar, ate the girl out in the bathroom and took the guy home.
he threw his shirt and suit jacket out the window of the uber going home
If I was banging all the guys that people think I am, I'd quit buying batteries.
You were trust falling into bushes
It went from a "chill game of beer pong" to "absinthe body shots and a tits parade" in literally two minutes.
Told you inviting her was a good idea.
did he think i wouldnt notice the naked girl in the backseat
Randomize
