I will die if light touches me.
Well he paid for dinner, so I paid for the Plan B, but the parking ticket I got is totally his responsibility.
u girls! girls! girls! have fun please don't hook up w/ a roadie! Love, mom
lets just say that i have already today: gotten drunk, got in a fight, got stranded an hour away from home, found a ride, sobered up, and slept. woken back up, and here i am. its been a long day. Day drinking is bad for friendships.
we knew we'd be okay when we walked up to the dealers house and he asked us to please be quiet as to not wake his nana.
Although I am concerned about who made the decision to let you loose in a bridal show I am proud to see you in a sombero again.
WHEN DID YOU SAY YOU COME BACK BC I GOT INVITED TO A KEG WAR PARTY
When / where did the additional couches appear?
Additional?
James brought one with him when he showed up. Theres still 2 outside and according to facebook, at least one more burned up.
Halfway through the blowjob she stopped and said 'Wait I know this dick'.
Hey do you eat chocolate chip pancakes with bacon in?
DO NOT MAIL ME A PANCAKE
a girl walked up to me and asked if you were my brother. she shook her head and said 'im so sorry' when i said yes. what did you fucking do????????
I know this shouldnt be a problem, but there are too many women hitting on me. I dont know what to do
He was a Cher impersonator. They are the draggest of queens
The gyno waiting room is so strange because the pregnant woman next to me is making a PowerPoint of her pregnant photo shoot with her husband and I’m sitting here trying to figure out from Instagram who I had sex with on Sunday lol
Woke up at 5am in an elevator... Pretty much tells you how my weekend went.
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