Dude go to the top of pikes peak right now to catch Kevin Bacon's band performing
The bacon? Yeah right. What if there's Tremors?
Him and Burt have already taken care of that. It's a once in a lifetime chance to catch the Bacon brothers live in concert. I sort of have a boner
How can i ever say i miss u when u wont go away
there was a trapeze. enough said
Single schmingle. No one actually obeys the relationship boundaries these days. Its 2009.
I just added her as a friend on Facebook. I met her 5 minutes ago and there are already more than 50 pics of me uploaded... from other nights.
I was so high last night that i'm 89% sure my roommates set up an obstacle course for me and timed it. Not positive.. I think one of the challenges was pairing shoes
i thought i was the drunkest one there til some girl puked in the tip jar.
Highlight of the day: realizing the man in the car next to mine was getting road head... at 2:45pm... nicely done sir, nicely done.
He just helps fat girls get exercise. One walk of shame at a time.
Well I will be attending the wedding with a flask of wine, potentially with a straw, and POM POMS for cheering purposes. Needless to say I will be well lubricated by your arrival..
Also I'm sitting home alone with a big ass bowl of marshmallows right now just eating. It's so sad.
Who knows? Maybe we can sing afternoon delight into each other's genitals.
You pulled out a fucking recorder and started playing along with all the songs on your playlist and refused to hit the j
Did you miss the part about my hangover needing a day to rest?
Well I finally got to say all the things I wanted to say. Including telling him he looks like a naked mole rat
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