hey what are you doing
hooking up with some marlborough girl. shes gorgeous!
i texted you because i like you, and i told my freinds you were my fiance. but sine we're not dating you're not cheating and i'm pathetic
I would do things to you that would get us burned at the stake if we lived in a puritan village.
Flying into Chicago for a few days, getting re-deployed in September, we should probably fuck
Kristina got the same text from you just now, she's sitting next to me, how many people did you send this to?
tried to be sexy and unbutton his shirt with my teeth. ended up slobbering all over it. thank god he was already passed out
Chipotle chips and wine for breakfast. Its def game day
Fell down a spiral staircase. Et tu vodka. Et tu.
Too lazy to get out of my bed thats 2 feet away from you. Are you sure youre alright?
He looks like he'd be great Lego character.
We need to be on the same page regarding the 3some this time. No more "one of us should probably leave" moments.
Want to FaceTime and watch me finish this bagel?
According to the boxer briefs I found on the couch when I got home, I take it your date went well??
Did I call him? He cried after taking my bra off. You tell me.
So I ate half a jar of mayo because I thought it would cure a hangover. I thought wrong.
did i get sucker punched in the face last night or was our make-out session just that intense?
I know you're having a really bad day and I'm a little to blame for that and I'm sorry. To make your day go better just try to imagine what people's fuck faces look like.
Randomize
