in vegas stuck in the middle of a pride right now
Pride?
thats a pack of cougars
go fuck yourself
he drunkenly confessed to whacking off before coming over so the sex'd be longer. this one's a keeper
kevin brought a 6ft brunette runway model with him tonight. Now, im not sure what the fuck the color of the " i get it, its over, Im ugly" flag is.... but i'll wave it.
Then he told me I had the most beautiful looking vulva
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
you went up to him and asked if you could have "friend sex." He looked like a 7 year old on christmas morning
Please tell me you are a size medium in men's clown onesies and that you forgot them here last night.....
Remembering I sold my brand new Blackberry to a stranger for a few pints = Worst night of my life. Now to work out what I did with my shoes.
What was she thinking? I'm not in the business of charity fucks anymore.
Dude, you were dipping oreos in vodka and asking people to try it, "It's so good!"
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Great way to live...just blowing loads on upholstery
That's good. Don't want to see you bellydancing in prison for homemade wine.
Senior week was like trying to herd cats. Very drunk cats.
Well, if worst comes to worst, I have pictures of his penis that I can put on the internet
Today I learned I and my bar naps were the subject of a bar meeting.
Little girl was fucking around on the train and completely ran her head into a pole. Totally burst out laughing as she cried. Her mom was not amused. I don't think I should be a Mom. EVER.
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