dude she's married.
so? a ring don't cover no holes.
Please dont jizz on my ds screen.
the line at the liquor store is out the door, and students in line are high-fiving like crazy...i love college snow days
i just funneled a beer through a mask n snorkel.. can you check that off my bucket list..
The lady at the touchless car wash just gave me the look of death. How do I say, "sorry it's not my puke" in Spanish?
I hate drunken dyslexia, i thought she said "someone to do" not "something to do" long story short i now have a restraining order.
The plan is to make enough mistakes this weekend to hold me over until spring break
I just bought $54 in Easter crap to try and blend in the pregnancy test... And FYI, it totally worked.
Grandma is giving me marriage advice again. On the plus side, she thinks I'm straight now.
I made a side by side comparison of her Facebook pic and the chick on the anti meth billboards. Plus a ven diagram showing mostly shared physical attributes. I sent u the PowerPoint. You were sufficiently warned.
Finally another gay clarinet player. They're surprisingly rare.
so hungover. I'm actually considering eating the snow off the roof so I don't have to leave my bed
My serious response to your Cathy tattoo inquiry- Do you ever want to get laid by someone not wearing a Blossom style bucket hat? Tattoo accordingly.
I have an important idea to tell you when I'm sober about a cat scratching my nose once and what it taught me. DONT LET ME FORGET.
You remember my neighbor with the perfect ass? It's even better in assless chaps.
Randomize
