you should just get pregnant. that way you don't need to decide on a career.
oh btw spread eagle is not an appropriate phrase to use in a scientific presentation. learned that the hard way
i was just skypeing her and i saw the vagisil medicated wipes in the corner of her room. i'll be breaking this off tomorrow
Can I sleep on your couch? My wife just found my eHarmony account.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
You've ruined blow jobs for me. You were the motzart of sucking dick, where every other girl is like awkward elevator music
I didn't know it was possible to make picking up dog shit look sexy.
She did the bend and snap...
How do you get a black eye playing beer pong??
I can't live in this building much longer. People are starting to figure out that it's me making the weird sex noises.
He crawled over to me grabbed my boob asked me if I liked cats and then passed out. If that's really my RA, it's gonna be a long year
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
just gonna show up naked this time. that way i dont have to worry about finding my clothes tomorrow
I don't even know man. I was to busy having beer showered on me and grabbing some balls
I can't! Its just like the night that I bathed you, I didn't tell anyone.
Like please, take your microdick and try to stick it someplace else. It is not welcome in my world.
Being sober is boring. Tomorrow I'm def bringing wine and my vibrator to work. Might even booty call that hot guy on floor 5. Making the last week at this job legendary.
Booty called 3 guys from my hospital bed
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