Can we have unprotected sex soon?
Don't quote me on that, I'm a walking boner
i may have used way too many innuedos last night. i scared him off. but really... how could i pass up "stimulus package" and "flacid economy." don't answer that.
worms taste like bacon by the way.
I always wondered what they tasted like.
You peed for a solid 5 minutes last night and turned around halfway through to give everyone watching a thumbs up
He took out the lube and started calling it fuck fluid
My little brother got home at 4am too, we drunk ate together. It was a kodak moment.
please tell me i can get drunk off sparkling grape juice. even if you have to lie, please say yes.
I am VERY upset that you called my fiesta a waste of time.
how the fuck is Katelyn 5'1" and 85 lbs and she tackled a bouncer to the ground?
Day drinking straight vodka out of a Mountain Dew can being towed behind a kayak on a raft. And no, there is no time difference, it really is 10 am.
Just switched my underwear without taking my pants off don't ever be ashamed to be related to me
We joked about how funny it would be if he got pulled over with 300 breakfast burritos in hus car. We walk outside of the school just as the police lights turn on and pull him over
I sent him a tex saying, "I thought my intentions were clear" drunk me has some balls.
Oh my God it's like my cock was dipped in lava
She's like a squirrel. She spazzes out all the time.
Randomize
