she's like the human form of herpes, as soon as you think she's gone for good you have another out break.
My astrological sign? Vagitarius.
An eyelash just fell out into my container of rice. Searching for it, i took a single piece of rice out at a time coming to the coclusion that i should not be this high while eating rice.
Let's pretend this is a good idea before I change my mind.
I replied to the university automated mass text about the armed robbery at the on-campus Starbucks with a sad face. Basically sums up my night.
Im 95% ready to shit behind 711
I thought he was walking around the front. I just hit and run my booty call. I'm the worst non girlfriend ever
He also gave me two gold stars for sex. On my nipples.
my dad is now demonstrating how to start a fire with a tampon. happy fucking new year!
...and as she's going down on me I look at the speedo and I'm doing 15 under, with 6 cars tailgating me, and I know her parents saw her head pop up because they were the car right behind us.
Serious concern: will TSA confiscate my bondage rope?
I don't want the fire department to come out here twice in one weekend because of your god damn vape.
so then the cop took one last hit off our blunt and then drove off in his car and we just all stood there thinking, yea... that just happened...
Dude. I just got a visual of u climbing over a bathroom stall to save my life.
I think I may have gotten way too used to using my boobs as an extra hand/pocket...almost stabbed myself in the chin bc I forgot I put my fork there
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