You're a womanizer and a bitch.
If I see one more duchette wearing Ed Hardy, but not actually having a real tattoo. I swear Im gonna shank a bitch.
I was to drunk to drive all the way up there, so we just had rough phone sex instead
So I think I just got a job offer from the guy I used to blow. See, networking pays off.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I JUST SHOOK HIS GRANDMOTHER'S HAND. WITH COCK HANDS. THIS IS NOT FUNNY.
while i was sleeping he changed my screen saver to his dick with a heart frame around it. I just might be falling in love.
Can you explain to me how i got kicked out of a bar last night, from outside the bar?
Your beautifulness. Funnyness. Sexy hairness. Coolness. Plus you ask google how far wendys is from your house. Will you marry me
we are out of drugs. and patience. please bring former.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I'm pretty sure at any given moment you could wring out my liver and get a couple of shots of jäger.
I sobered up in the middle of it, that I was hooking up with him in a rosemary bush. I woke up smelling like a pasta dish
Okay I shall begin. Thank you Swedish chef
Hurrfy smmurdshy burrfst!
That is the exact response I was looking for.
Do drug dealers work on Memorial Day?
You spent like 10 minutes trying to hit a golf ball that was actually a cigarette butt. And then fell over.
decided to jump from one of the levels of the Westin chicago Nortghwest. it was worth the broken legs.
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