Why did you send me a picture of a dick?
It was an accident sry. Not mine tho.
Your mouth is God's brothel.
it can't be normal that my body odor smells like fries
I'm gonna answer everything she says with 'cum on da face' until she breaks up with me...great idea or greatest idea?
A lesson I learned in the hospital....when you masturbate while attached to a heart monitor, it scares the nurses a lot.
found out the liquor store price matches. thus begins senior year of college
The next time i black out make sure i remove the ping pong balls from my weave. Especially before my first day of classes.
I managed to make myself a bowl of apple jacks, took one bite and had to stop eating them because they were making my brain wiggle. How was your comedown?
Holy shit he's circumcised. His parents must have really loved him.
Fuck yeah GAYNESS
*explodes into glitter*
just for future reference, lake water is NOT mix for hard stuff. nor is it an adequate substitute.
Amazon.com "suggested" I buy both nipple clamps and opera gloves.
Just so you know. And I'm telling you this because I care deeply for you. Blue raspberry poptarts taste exactly the same as the regular raspberry ones.
I taught three men with PhDs how to make a gravity bong last night. I love academia.
No one should have to go to work between Christmas and New Years, but here I am twirling in my office chair and putting Jack in my coffee like I’m back in college studying for finals.
Randomize
