The guy in front of me in Sociology is definitely working on my farm in farmville. Never met him before. Do I thank him?
his penis was crooked so i rode him at an angle. he seemed used to this.
Just sold this kid "Magic Furry Apples". He is way to high to figure out they are just peaches.
At least he's a nutritious stoner...
Apparently it's poor taste to ask for a break up blow job...in McDonald's. Also, that's not the best way to break the news either.
Is it bad to get into the ocean at night? i always thought sharks hated the smell of vomit after drinking
My number one goal in life is to find out who can fill a keg with Popov
Bring fortys. we have the duct tape. its onnn mothafuckaaaa
Lol what? Monday night impromptu acid drop was the alternative.
Before you started puking your brains out, you took a moment to give me the correct order of the Harry potter series
You're the third Mark I've fucked in that bed.
Who says no to sex and donuts?!
YOU BETTER TOUCH MY NIPPLES TODAY
Just in case you forgot, last night you came home drunk and pissed all over my laptop. You owe me a laptop.
Bruh. He just said the words "cyber sex"-is it 1999?
I need to get laid. Right now that freshman frat pledge & my Econ professor are the leading candidates
That’s quite a spread
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