direct quote: "i'm so over my clit" either best or most awkward conversation possible with your COUSIN
Barack Obama mentioned plan B and suddenly this address seems a lot more personal
He waited until after foreplay to tell me that he didn't have a condom and "we" would just have to settle for a bj tonight...
Dude, i don't know. I don't remember anything after we started chanting/playing "shot of gin."
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Nothing is creepier than a guy telling you "I was just thinking about you" in a men's bathroom when taking a shit
I hope you have a dream of a sloth with my face touching you erotically
Drinking a bawls. If I'm dead when you get home, yes, they are poisoned.
classified somewhere between kinky and medically inadvisable
Friends don't let friends put redi whip in their wine
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Paycheck hits in 37 minutes and I literally just emptied my handle of Tito's. If that isn't budgeting like a fucking adult, I don't know what is.
cmon you know I'm perfectly capable of something that ridiculous 100% sober
Got so drunk last night I kinda sent a super on point sext to his kid sister...say a prayer man
I feel like people expect me to always be a sarcastic, shade throwing drunk. And you know me, I hate to disappoint.
Woke up to find my underwear in my purse to only remember I took them off at the airport
You couldn’t remember the word hand jibber. Instead, your drunk ass offered the bartenders “unlimited hand fritters” if they wouldn’t cut you off.
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