I'll start drinking again when I know where I am
"Does your mom know how big your cock is?" Worst dirty talk I've ever had.
Just made a drug deal by throwing my money to my dealers window and receiving weed the same way. We are the definition of typical lazy stoners.
She told me I had to leave by four. We fucked until six thirty and we are the champions played on the way home. Yeah god knew
I woke up and he had cut my bangs and put makeup on me.
I don't care how good they make you look, you've got to stop sleeping with gay guys.
Well I tried to steal a golf cart. I fought with the Chick-Fil-A cow. And other things.
It was perfect I came I passed out in his comfortable bed then a glass of jack Daniels fell from the bed post and spilled all over my face
I just took a shit with a lightsaber in my hand. Dreams fulfilled.
turns out that the cat the james was trying to catch was a raccoon. call me when you get this, i need an ER buddy
But I feel like studying my flashcards during a blowjob would be rude...
I haven't found him passed out in the living room covered in noodles for a while now so I guess he's getting better with the drinking.
You know it's a good party when even the dealers were too fucked up. Just found and counted 140 E pills I found in a bag in the couch. Just paid for weed this month.
there is nothing ok with the fact that that was the 4th time i peed in the same parking ramp
Up until today, I never would have thought I'd have to tell someone not to color on the cat
Plus, I have my cousin, the dominatrix, to help me out if things get out of hand
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