I asked her if she watches the office. She said no, but do you watch I'm a celebrity get me outa here? That's when i knew. Deal breaker
Sex tip #67: Jizz in the eye is very near the equivalent to pepper spray. Not recommended for pleasure enhancement.
i wish i could shrink down to the size of his dick so i could just thank it in person.
Just saw a woman walking a golden retriever and a vacuum down the road. I miss downtown.
how many americans can say they have been laid before eating their first big mac?
When I was in the bathroom and wiped with a paper towel I found in the trashcan, I realized that this might be the reason I have a yeast infection.
They called me at 5 AM saying they had a present for me
Also I think he would slowly, painfully, die. You really can't live without a penis. You'd explode.
Besides. I seriously had a dream that George W Bush came over and slapped some tabs down on my kitchen counter and said "let's get juiced.". It was a sign to not get too fucked up
nothing like smoking out of your roommate's bong with your mom to celebrate the rising of christ
he is risen halelujah
this celing is unfamiliar to me... im just vaguely wondering where i am. but not quite concerned enough to do anything about it.
Suspicion confirmed. my mom has her nipples pierced
Way to crack the case Nancy Drew
Thinking about wearing all black to the bar tonight since I'll be attending my liver's funeral.
got cock blocked by the cops again. two of the cops were the same ones from that t bell incident and they recognized me... they still dont like me
your mission the party friday: cockblock me at ALL costs. I've cheated on my boyfriend twice. I feel like three times would be crossing some sort of line...
and no, I don't care how how hot he is
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