My pussy is not your playground.
And then she said "sorry if my vagina smells like fish, it's just active."
Is there a card that says "Sorry I got drunk at your Christmas party and tried to steal your monogrammed hand towels so that I could give you something nice for Christmas"?
I just won't go as hard tonight. Four dollar ladies night drink or drown is not a good idea for me. I like to get my money's worth.
Maybe I should forgo underwear.
This is a family BBQ no?
He leaned off the deck, puked a waterfall of beer, looked back at everyone and said "it was just a burp".
his finger was half off and he was more concerned that he wasnt at home shooting cucumbers out of his potato gun.
Thats why you dont have a "jubilant gunfire celebration"
And my nipple is sore from him biting it. That is not a complaint.
You just said the word 'slut' out loud in your sleep and then made a moaning noise
Who knew that the guy I fucked on your front lawn during welcome week freshman year would turn out to be my husband
Your pictures have evolved a lot over the years but I think your angry dick pic phase was one of my favorites
Sexting my TA in lecture = awesome
He wanted to save my dignity, I just wanted beads and jäger
Waking up naked and dehydrated has become a regular occupancy for me.
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