so explain again why im purple
no
Hey sorry about saying i hated you. it was the coke and the ice cream.
i love how you can even make your typing come across bitchy
you're the only person i know to use "jizz" and "cute" in the same sentence.
She told me she wanted to wax my ass. I'm terrified and oddly aroused.
I don't know who the girl crying at my kitchen table eating gravy from the KFC container is, but I feel like she could be my soulmate
i just feel like the statute of limitations for admitting i plowed through her car last night was up a couple hours ago
The last text I sent him was about nachos. Frankly, if he can't respond positively to that he can fuck off...
I am currently watching him baptize himself in a baby pool with a handle of belvedere while wearing a coral dress.
I want to have sex with him.
But how will the next generation learn about life choices without a Jersery Shore?
If my vagina were a person, it just ran a marathon.
Currently doing the walk of shame out of some random girls house with my boyfriend. Talk about relationship goals.
Just opened my sisters laptop to "cute places to lose my virginity" googled last
Just left the ER. Only good thing... my hot ass nurse Carlos stripped me.
God works in mysterious ways.
You win. I am a lesbian who maybe slightly jaded. I didn't mean to throw the knife at you head.
Randomize
