so are u like ashamed lol?
not really. i dont look at it as being homeless. im just going to pretend im on an extended camping trip
And then you gave the bride a high five and said "Go forth and Consummate."
Was waiting for the adderal to kick in then realized I had been brushing my teeth for eighteen minuites
i mean, some people chug beer and some people chug hard liquor. some people have good ideas and some people have bad ideas. it's all about perspective.
I wore a leash I'll tell you about it later I had a fantastic time
All I can see in the pic you sent is white shorts...
Thas my pasnts in colleg! Tehy glow! AND SMELL LIKE BEER!
The world isn't going to end because you slept with him!
... that would be easier though.
On the back of that comment, I've formed a theory that as a result of my brainwashing your drunk self actually believes that beards are your calling.
I definitely made out with a high school student last night while his sister and my brother were in the same room. I think we're all traumatized by the situation.
they need to invent a card that reads "thanks for all those boners you gave me that you did NOTHING about"
the fat guy in me is very excited, and the skinny guy in me is very excited for the fat guy in me
You don't want any of I have. Seriously. Its 80 proof rum that was 8 bucks for a liter. I'm afraid
I'm sure your liver is writing out a will as we speak
Dude, you flipped off a cat from my balcony and yelled at it to get a house
We were drunk having sex and I knocked over her bedside table/fish bowl and she jumped off to check if her fish was still alive but she made me pasta so it's cool
90% sure I just opened a snapchat of you in a fuzzy bathrobe next to your ceiling collapsing
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