Remind me to tell you about the dream where im a fighting a super hero whose only weakness is sunkist.
it's like god just wants me to be high for five days in a row. keep the blizzards coming.
So I'm on the can right now reading a court transcript for an appeal. Some dude is paying $155 an hour for me to take a shit.
we drunk the bar out of liquor so the guy was selling us bottles of wine for $2a each. Only good thing to come outta this flood
Ya I know. She's self aware though, like the terminator. Which is the best kind of crazy
He took the Gold in Olympic clit licking last night. Canada should be proud.
Myy bathroom floor makes me think I'm on Mars. Also. Did you realize that yesterday we perfected thee mind high-five??
We need to do something soon. I need like 4,000 beers and a cigarette.
Not only did I get beyond cray cray this weekend. My body has nursed itself to plentiful and impeccable health. Fuck you world, I am back.
She just won 2 Grammys at 17 and were sitting here hotboxing our half bathroom
im not letting a little injury get in the way of my alcoholic/drug problems. we ARE getting turnt tonight.
I'm sad about how hungover I'm gonna feel tomorrow.
Should I apologize for the loud sex I had in his living room? Because I'm not going to.
Definitely not.
She made me undress her with my teeth...explains the button in my shit this morning...
Want a bet? I'm a kinky and determined motherfucker with a libido that is not easily stopped
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