it took everything i had not to yell out "your name means death in german!"
I could make wine with my vomit
Bring it all. We will have a potluck of drugs. It will be magical.
Currently flirting with a 57 year old. Why do i do this
I just need to go to a bar tonight wrapped in an American flag singing the national anthem
I hope you dream of an avalanche of penises
i just deleted him from my phone. and yes... I did just text you this from less than 20 feet away.
I'm not judging.. I sure as hell am not getting out of my bed to come talk to you about this. but i support your decision
I can't believe you didn't come out. There was a duckling ON THE BAR!
I think my pussy is going to freeze to the ground
WELL I DIDNT KNOW IT WAS POSSIBLE TO COME SO HARD YOU HAVE AN ASTHMA ATTACK BUT HERE I AM
I feel like my foot is being amputated. Or maybe it's the vodka. I couldn't tell you.
Apparently i tried to feed this guy's piranhas my whole left arm.. according to him, i was "showing them whos boss, bc if they try to eat my arm, im guna punch their face"
I really wanna treat my body good. Because i plan on doing drugs
you should just get a floor plan of your dorm and start checking off rooms.
I sent him nudes while he is at work because I am an evil human being.
Randomize
