maybe all of them together would equal one normal sized dick.
ugh. my soul tastes like vodka
Just saw a girl in a wheelchair puke then rally. Diversity matters.
i was so drunk he made me beileve the song was called "thanksgiving sex."
Just saw someone buying TWO six packs of O'Doul's. WHY ??
Seriously, let me lead the intervention, my parents did like three with me. I know how it works.
Who would have thought the night we were surrounded by 4 cops would be the most responsible night of the week.
The cops just drove by on their loudspeaker going DO NOT DRINK THE WATAHH
I love boston
I may wear a condom to jerk-off tomorrow knowing that my hand has touched surfaces in this bar.
The engagement ring savings account is now the strippers and gin savings account. What are you doing tonight?
If you don't sing me a lullaby then I'll just take shots till I pass out
We're now referring to our nightly Skype time as "strokes of genius." Long distance sucks.
You haven't lived until you've snorted coke from a Pharaoh's hand baby
Riding your boyfriend's dick for an hour then waitressing for 8 hours. Would not recommend.
I realize that my conversation topics seem to only be about bees and my cross dressing fiance. Thank you for being my friend.
Randomize
