just got cropdusted by the delivery guy...this was not in my job description.
One of the cleaning ladies on my floor just screamed from the bathroom
The sun is out and the snow is finally starting to melt here... Vodka bottles keep popping up everywhere. Guess it's the college version of burying nuts for the winter
Dont judge me. He may have been ugly but he was INCREDIBLE. He's like the Susan Boyle of sex.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I seriously just washed my dick in a public restroom. That's how dirty last night got
His car is carseat is compatible. I checked while we were banging in the back seat...
Call me when your ready for an explanation about the ham in your vagina.
thought the power was flickering out but it turns out im just blinking
I passed out drunk and Jane had created a picnic on my chest. I had chips and a hamburger laid out on my boobs. The only reason I woke up is she was trying to feed me too.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I'm going to have to start playing roller derby again so I can blame my sex-related bruises on that.
I want your cock. I also want to cuddle you and tell you how amazing you are, because you know balance.
Its only once in a life time you get to pick your vcard swiper up from jail
someone stole my phone at the bar last night, naturally, it led to me waking up in the bartender’s bed
i have two papers due tomorrow. contemplating if i should take adderall in my anus for full effects
would it be awkward if i bring my husband?
only if i fuck you in the bathroom while he's paying the check
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