found out what b.m.t stands for.
what did you think?
bread, meat, tomatoes, but then i realized that could be practically any sub.
Did you see 7 ppl got hurt at Talladaga?
Did they get their mullets stuck in an engine?
There is no way he is gay with that hair.
i wanted to sleep on a waterbed so i filled up my bathtub so i could fall asleep in it...
Last time I stayed at my moms my fucking car got set on fire sooo maybe I should think this through.
Is it penis luge time yet?
I keep telling girls I work at the carnival and then guessing their weights. I'm pretty sure I'm about to get kicked out.
I'm impressed you managed to decipher 'annslqllpprebBcncnj' into 'I'm drunk at the Vic, come pick me up and do me on the kitchen table'
Day drunk and a can of soup and wine straight from the bottle and alone and on my kitchen floor.
There's a mouse. In the house. By the cans. With some pans. Release the cat. To eat his hat. Sorry about the mess. Of my breakfest.
No but seriously, there's a fucking mouse in the house by the beer cans
I can only get completely wasted and hungry two more times and then we're out of fritos.
They made the rule if I caught the ball with my cleavage they would drink the entire beer pong table. I don't think they expected me to actually do it.
Long story short he broke into a preschool and threw all their cones into a tree.
We just fucked like crazy and now I'm dipping chips in macaroni & cheese. I feel completely accomplished. This may be the best day ever.
I'm recovering from the blowjob...She's doing her taxes...
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