he chased her out of the bar yelling "TAKE MY VIRGINITY" and i havent seen her since
he is so annoying
so stop sleeping with him
yeah but he is so hot when i'm drunk
How can it be called memorial day weekend....I don't even remember this weekend
Pretty sure I left lotion and my bra in your car. I've secured your fathers belief that your straight. You can thank me later
there is mayo everywhere what the fuckkkk
I'm eating cereal out of the pocket of my flannel right now
Thank you for the breast cancer awareness themed circle of death. Had it been any other time I would not have played topless.
I decided to let him keep the rest of my good weed as an "I'm sorry for being a drunk ass ho" consolation prize.
Nothing says "I Love you" like my dick in a pizza box
Dunno. My heart says "no", my brain says "maybe" and my dick says "YES YES FOR THE LOVE OF GOD YES!!"
dude, I felt like being high in a Santa hat and eating five boxes of cookies was right for today.
Oh, don't mind me, that's just my vagina rattling.
Also my roomates are going to be gone till sunday. Make correct decision here
Quit calling your parents your roomates
the last thing i heard from her was "i wanna get fucked by a stranger" and i haven't seen her since
I know you do it only because of my toyota, but thank you for fucking me. Seriously.
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