I used to have a blog that was basically all about ****** and all of his sexual misadventures
I mean it made tucker max look like a fucking alterboy
But unfortunatley his mom did a google search and found it
Wish i knew that 10 minutes ago when i told him to dance with my blackberry while i got another drink
I just got hit in the face by an old lady love handle.
The only good thing about ohio is that i can get 2 half gallons of soco for 40 bucks
woke up with 15 BAGS of hot dog buns in my passenger seat... jameson strikes again
I think the fact that my first kiss is now in a porno says a lot about why my life is the way it is
Just found the video that explains the neighborhood applause. Your landlord is awesome, and the clothes are on the roof
My dad just questioned my drinking habits... Clearly he doesn't know what kind of college education he's paying for
just remind me when i get fired soon that august is the month i started pregaming work
False alarm I know hes alive because when i tried shaking him awake he pissed his pants and rolled over..
More or less binge drinking as a giant grape seemed justified
So like 5 seconds in I realize I knew him in 3rd grade and I went limp in his mouth. It felt like I just murdered the last unicorn ever. Going straight never felt like an option till now.
His grandma held his dogs so they wouldn't follow me out the door. It was like a whole new level added to my walk of shame.
Of course I have a pirate flag
he's like the highest ranking tongue wizard i know.
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