Do you know a sam ****, im at the bar right now and lookin for some dirt on her to guilt trip her in to sex
Going to get tested monday. You're coming with. Bonding time, slut style.
well you haven't lived until you've been 86'ed from a family restaraunt
let's get her a shirt that says "i went to key west for spring break and all i got was this illegitimate child."
until you tell me otherwise ill assume we're playing "cavity search" the homeland security game to spice up our sex life
Things you are not allowed to do while im gone: sell cats on ebay, put cats in freezer again, shave cats like lions, dye cats pink/blue, try to light cats on fire to"wake them up from their nap" agian
I just got a new temperpedic mattress pad and started smoking weed again in the same week. finding motivation to go to a 9:AM class is close to impossible.
she's living proof man. somebody has literally pissed in the gene pool
some asshole was waslkibg around with ab electric razor and shaving parts of peoples heads.
I don't think this guy is worth it unless he's a skilled sexual amigo
If he's gonna send me dick pics; he should at least zoom in to make it look bigger.
So instead of going to meet her mom, I decided to jump out of her window which was about 1.5 stories off the ground. I'm alright, but I ended up meeting her mom anyway.
I'm so sad at the lack of dick in my life I am going to get sauced and make rice krispy treats
I successfully cockblocked 5 people in one night. I wasnt getting any, why should they.
I mean, I'm not hammered, but I definitely can't show my face or tits in that bowling alley again
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