YOU GOT EVICTED FROM A TRAILER PARK!?!? WTF!!!!!
You can tell alot about a person by their poo.. For example, he was a smoker.
So I feel really bad about last night...can i give you a blow job and we call it even?
As we walked into his room, he said welcome to the hurt locker. I should have left, but I love that movie.
Heating the house with the oven may not be safe but at least it's always preheated
But besides the pee thing, he sounds like a nice guy.
What happened to "I wouldnt even touch her with a ten foot pole"?
Her vagina devoured it.
I think this breakup is Gods way of telling me I deserve a bigger dick
I'm in the bar bathroom about to pass out. But it's ok cause I set my alarm to go off for last call
Meant to have fun, ended up giving speech about consent to guy at bar. Feminist side feels happy. Orgasms side feels confused and betrayed.
I think the worst was the guy who sent me YouTube videos about how age doesn't matter, and then a link for natural breast enhancements. Kill me.
Come to my pity party. It's being hosted in my basement. The theme is ambiguously sexual cuddling and wine.
I wrote "fuck you meg" on my toaster strudel with the icing. I call it "passive aggressive breakfast"
I feel like there's def a learning curve to the sex swing
Right?? Give me some apple scented candles and I'm a fall wet dream
Randomize
