My grandpa is talking about laundry and he asked if i could run a "small hot load." Wow. I had to leave the room.
Does this mean you'll turn into an Albanian at the next full moon?
We were naked in his bed when he asked me "what should we do?"
wait do you know what youre gonna say if they ask how youre getting back?
yes. helicopter.
He pulled out, and the resulting cumstain on my sheets is in the shape of a fetus. The irony of this is both awesome and terrifying.
he spent like 10 minutes trying to convince us that he was throwing up in the bushes on purpose in order to cut weight for wrestling
Fell down the metal stairs and some guy tried to fight me after you left. I fell asleep with cadbury eggs in my mouth too.
no need to worry, I have the internet and a cape, I can accomplish anything. nothing can go wrong, I am unstoppable. Yo.
Its not that it wasnt fun. Its just I got a tooth knocked out and that was my second time being arrested this year
Do you ever get high and look at your cat and feel like you know them on an intellectual level?
He's such a neat freak that he started making the bed while I was still laying on it naked. He succeed in case you were wondering.
Whose dick am I looking at? There are too many possibilities at the moment.
Bro I just got a hand job playing tiny wings.. Hell yea
She gave me a collar. When I asked what this was for she replied "I'm taming your dick"
I am cleaning melted cheese out of my hair. This is a new experience for me
Randomize
