OMg patrick swayze is the sexuest man he is killing me I'm gonna get dehydrated if I don't stop looking at him
Did I miss anything?
A gay irish pirate, a caveman and hunter s tompson.
so we also did drugs
I would like to be the first to explain to you that if you've woken up with bruised knuckles this morning, it's because last night you tried climbing out of our car window and into the drive through window at maccas. The cashier chick freaked out and slammed the window on you and beat you around the head with her headset thingy.
Shittttttt.
Be not ashamed. It was youtube-worthy.
i've never been more proud of someone than i was when he told me he got his first blowjob at age 13...from two chicks
This is a mass text. Surprise drug testing at work today. Either I've finally got to fuck my boss or I've got to quit to make this all go away. Please respond with option a or b.
Someone is in my phone as "fireball girl" and keeps texting me. How do I go about finding out who it is?
It is officially Christmas time in Chicago. There's a drunk hobo on the CTA singing the first 2 lines of Frosty the Snowman over and over and over.
First of all guys don't have walks of shame. Secondly there is nothing more epic than riding the skytrain in a toga while everyone else is going to work
This hickey is now green and covers half my neck. I have an alien hickey. I think he thought my neck was dinner.
My bra is still on the porch...I'm leaving it as a reminder to get my shit together.
I still don't like him. I'm also filled with alcohol, so I'll revisit the statement in the morning.
I just spent the last three days trying to hook up with a dude for his pool privileges
I'm not trying to analyze you I'm just saying you are being unfair to soup
He's just been a dick since he set his face on fire. I just wanted to eat a fucking hot dog.
will a lunchtime blow job make it better?
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