hey im gonna send you a picture of my dinner
if its a picture of your dick again we are no longer friends
New rule. No seeing movies about plane crashes after killer bong rips
Good news. That bum you thought that died is alive.
Hey, I took a sweater from your house. And, um, your little brother's virginity.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
She said she forgot something.. and when she came out she was carrying a garden gnome, and a bottle of vodka. she was too hot to question it.
If there was a card that said "I'm sorry for throwing up on your bathroom counter" I would send it to you.
I'm gonna go ahead and say I love our drinking habits but anytime we roundhouse a 750 of Schnapps on the way to a non competitive bowling league we might have problems
I took the pregnancy test for shits and giggles, but neither shits nor giggles were had.
I only wore my thong with cheeseburgers on it because I thought we'd have sex. So I basically wasted my best thong for nothing.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
You wouldn't eat with utensils. You insisted on making your own spoon out of a bendy straw and staples while singing "I'm a survivor" by Destiny's Child.
If you had a good reason for throwing the toaster at the wall, now's a good time to tell someone. My parents are on their way back and you know my dad and his pop tarts.
I just split a tacobell party box with my boss. 12 tacos. We were equals for a moment.
You can have my vag. Its useless without you.
As long as it's more "this is where i see an issue" vs "psst.... tiddies" then i have no argument
I’ve got full Covid immunity, blonde hair and great tits! I’m basically unstoppable
Randomize