I dont kno what was worse. Waking up 2 a guy next to me thinking I got blackout or realizing it was your boyfriend.
I hope you have a really shitty weekend. I love you.
we just stared at taco bell's menu on the website for 2 hours
i have now been nicknamed the screamer on the first, third, fourth, & six floor by all the ra's. only two more floors to go before i cover the entire dorm.
I woke up with her dog licking the wedding cake out of my ear and her sister finishing our Jaeger
The cute guy in my class hurt himself and is on crutches. My first thought was "Good. He'll be easier to take down." Like he's a gazelle and I'm a dick tiger. What's wrong with me?
I'd rather take 10 virginities than catch something. Right now I should be good, I mean the sex with Jake was so bad he can't possibly have an std
I told my doctor about us having twin chlamydia
I got my little bro high for the first time... Turns out the two of us stoned together is a mess. We spent 10 minutes trying to communicate with each other using just our eyebrows.
NoShamevember. You game?
Good news: I actually puked in my bathroom, the vomit from the living room was actually from someone else.
That's horrible but hilarious
I'm going to miss college.
I dont know it just seems wrong to fuck her on my exes back porch
He pretended his dick was a samurai sword and that he was slaying me with it is it bad I still wanted him to fuck me
I once left mine in my bra and I forgot and I didn't notice it was there until it vibrated.
If I wanna spend the whole night tied up and getting railed I'm allowed to do so
Randomize
