Courtney? Is that you? I have pictures of this very same night.
I swear to god he was trying to crawl under my door last night muttering "I'm Alex Mac! I'm Alex Mac!"
He tried to say "god bless your heart" to the stripper but it came out "god bless your pussy"
Fuck you. You would only tell me how to get to your house in Spanish.
Are they engaged or just dating? Girlfriends come and go but the memory of sex at the pool last forever.
I thought you should know that there is a scientific law stating that when there is booze, people talk about your dick.
My backyard is filled with beer cans. You idiots turned our backyard into a redneck ball-pit
He has a bathrroom scale in his room with an alarm attached to it so anything over 150 sets it off and in his drinking stupper he can make a run for it.
I just heard your voicemail. Glad you like my dick and think I'm cool
I ended up in th ER yelling my height weight and age
Appearently I went across the hall last night demanding to ride my neighbors moose... How much did I drink?
I puked in the back of my mom's new car because I had too much to drink at Chilis. I think I just hit rock bottom.
i had to call the bar to ask if they found my bowling ball. That good of a night
and then the sword just ended up between my legs
it's okay that you two hooked up in the family bathroom at the mall.. i just pray to god you were not making a family in the family bathroom..
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