honey bunches of taint.
puking up blue gatorade is not as nearly as much fun as it sounds
you refused to leave the drive-thru at mcdonalds until the cashier took a jello shot
why is pumping your own stomach in your searches on youtube?
hes totally cute, too bad i slept with his father
I'm honestly too sad to drink and hang out with strippers. This breakup sucks.
You know me. Don't need roses, just dick and food.
Cavemen vs astronauts. weapons to be determined. Who would win?
You said that my dog would "complete your puzzle" then you got naked and took it behind the bar
We proceeded to buy tattoos from the dollar store and interpretive dance to of monsters and men, it's safe to say he's my new fuck buddy
This guy smelled his armpits before trying to approach me at the bar
Here's what I don't understand. How does anyone watch you eat mayo for 12 minutes and then ever fuck you again??
Sorry i vommed in a cup next to u w out warning.. Actually im not that sorry cuz i didn't spill a drop LIKE A PRO
Props to the guy blatantly doing coke in the bathroom at the bar. Walked out of the stall with a credit card in hand, sniffing loudly and shouting "choo choo"
These past few weeks have been a lesson on why you don't put your penis inside girls who live in your building.
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