Help. Asians are flirting in front of me(773): They speak asian
Do you have swine flu?
I know my taste in men is not always top notch; however, I don't sleep with swine.
Pigs, yes. Swine, no.
Just registered some guy for opium withdrawals. WTF opium withdrawals, who does opium anymore.
He noticed there was ketchup on his shirt and took it off. Noticed there were people there and put it back on. Then he saw the ketchup again. He must have taken his shirt on and off about 6 times
despite contrary belief, getting peanut butter off your balls is not as easy as it sounds
My little brother got home at 4am too, we drunk ate together. It was a kodak moment.
There was a stripper pole on the party bus. Was being past tense because some fat chick somehow tore it from the ceiling while grinding
Hey remember that night when you sang Fergie to me? I think that's the exact moment in time when the thought "I could be faithful to this man" came into serious consideration.
I bought an american flag today and by god im gonna fuck someone on it
Going to the u of w I constantly have that moment of, oh hey I felt you up at that rave at folk fest that one time. Winnipeg is too small.
Wesley I'm sober and my body hurts. There wasn't much trust in any of those falls.
I did the walk of shame this morning and his mom hugged me in the driveway
He texted me at 2am telling me to come get my American flag from his place, if that's not code for sex idk what is
Do exhausted, barely concealed hand jobs count as joining the mile high club?
The dog peed on the neighbors baby Jesus. No wonder she thinks we're the devil.
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