it's a girl!!
That's great, I look forward to meeting her in 18 years
Its a long story, but I have superglue on my tongue
You would get kicked out of the study lounge for being drunk the monday of finals week
I thanked her for the handjob she gave me in the middle of the night. She had no idea what i was talking about. I think she sleep-jerked-me-off. Im def sleeping over tonight too
She told me she wanted to wax my ass. I'm terrified and oddly aroused.
i woke up wearing her shoes. this night isn't going on my highlight reel
All I wanted was a quiet evening to masturbate and eat cake and instead you ruined it by bringing girls over.
when he put a condom on for a handjob cuz he didn't want to "blow his load in the car" i started to question my choice in guys..
dude a monday night stripper made you motorboat her. you should get that checked out
There were two girls and a guy on a bed and now i can put porn director on my resume.
Speaking of fellatio on fictional characters, the Stay Puft Marshmallow Man would be a delicious blowjob.
I left my coke in the bird nest in the bathroom stall last night but I found it nest and all in my purse I love morning suprises
I won't trust your judgement until the word stripper doesn't make me laugh
This time tomorrow I'll be fingering you
Oh shit a waiter was leaning over me when i opened that and i felt him pause
My brother and I have had one conversation in the past like 3 weeks and it was about what it would be like as a sentient butt plug
Randomize
