Good news! Whoever used this stall at Target earlier...not pregnant!
i just spit dirty mouth water on my dentist. and apparently grinning sheepishly and saying "my b" doesn't make it better
I'm wearing an NBA shooting sleeve while jerking off...and yes my arm has stayed warm
What I wanna know is who took a picture eiffel towering her?
no. you're not making a beach trip out of my abortion.
Do you think she hates me because I thought her roommate's name actually was Butterface?
Taking my tights off outside the club to give them to the homeless man was my contribution to humanity. The fact that it was snowing just made me feel like superman.
No, no... it's pale and surrounded by awkward, curly, red hair. It's the Ronald McDonald of penises.
I'm sorry I drunk dialed you before realizing that you were already in bed with me.
Hey please buy toilet paper today. Plastic grocery bags are starting to hurt now
Most people would probably take his lack of responses as a queue to stop. But nope, not me. I just keep going. And that's why I don't have a bf, just a little weinered friend
She came so hard that after she finished, she started a slow clap and then told me she pulled a muscle.
On another note, I almost lost one side of my fake butt. Dancing the wobble with the fake butt isn't recommend.
I remember turning to Jon after doing a line of coke and saying "I was a Girl Scout"
So i dislocated my knee but still went home and fucked his brains out. Nothing gets in the way of my sex life. NOTHING.
Randomize
