Disadvantage of being gay..... my gag reflexes makes trying to make myself throw up extremely difficult.
my roommate's gf just broke up with him and hes in his room crying and listening to coldplay while beating off to pictures of her...
I wish I could tell you that the worst thing that happened last night was how he got thrown out of a stripclub for vomitting on the girl giving him a private lapdance. I wish I could tell you that and not be lying.
Fucked her within an inch of her life. Seriously. Don't choke bitches when they ask. Was way too drunk to be pulling that shit.
i hate always having to make my eye shadow look really good since my eyes always end up closed by the end of the night in pics
Funny how often beer equates to second degree burns on some portion of my body.
I'm sorry I kept calling you a pussy... but to be fair, you were being a pussy.
We left around 4am, just after you laid down on your front lawn to take a piss. After 15 mins I said "dude are you still peeing?" you replied "Nope, just laying here with my dick out."
She just took a mirror selfie at the hospital while in labor.
I won't trust your judgement until the word stripper doesn't make me laugh
It is super hard to find a good vegan dominatrix! THAT'S why I'm single
I just had some kinky fun in the back seat of my car behind a Ralph's in south county. How's your thanksgiving eve?
I took my makeup off with mouthwash. Seemed like a good idea. It worked.
how do you feel about japanese?
I would eat half a street meat hotdog I found on the sidewalk, I'm good with anything.
He loves blowjobs.. were meant for each other.
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