Hey its my first time.
I think you mean "it's my first time"
An alarm set every 45 minutes saying "FATTY" and one every afternoon saying "CASPER" every day until spring break is a foolproof plan to being bikini ready
By the way, she says hi. At least I think she did since she licked my phone
I woke up with $100 in my pocket and I was so excited until I found an atm receipt for a $500 withdrawal. Not as exciting.
i left after you tried to balance a shot of tequila on your head while screaming at the bar tender that you fucked his girlfriend
im almost positive that in mid thrust she told me she was pro choice
not to be a dick but do you remember the names of all your friends i made out with after we broke up?
Do something fun then. Blow up the house or whatever.
How have you survived this long?
Dumb luck and a deal with the devil.
You can wear my underwear. It'll be like old times.
It's one of those things you just need to see in person at least once in your life. Like Niagara falls or some shit. His ass is the Niagara falls of asses
I don't know. Something about answering "what did you do on Sunday?" Seems odd when the reply is, painted, went to the grocery store, put a restraint device on my bed.
Lets just make a point system, like if we have sex add a point, if they leave after take away a point, if they stay all fucking day take away a point
Which emoticons convey sympathy for sleeping with someones bf ??
the sex got boring after the first three hours
holy shit
So I was dancing on a table with these three girls and my bro. Started to makeout with one and as the song ended I asked what her name was. She said, and I quote, "Nate we hooked up two weeks ago". To which my reply was to lift my beer to bro and proclaim, "RAGE".
Randomize
