we were pretty classy up until the second keg
It's underwear night and I am literally in the bar wearing nothing but underwear and flip flops.
It totally doesn't make me a groupie if I hooked up with him before he was in the Olympics
Just found custom condoms. Guess I'm not getting any work done today.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I feel like we're taking advantage of the fact that our R.A has cerebal palsey.
I found a tip from a dart in my bra this morning
I really think we need to get on this Charlie Sheen bandwagon
im just laying here pukin in my mouth and swallowing it 'cause im WAY too lazy to actually get up and find a place to vomit. this is my life now.
Unless your apartment has 3 am pancakes Im not coming over.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
i have achieved a new state of being which requires no food or water but is sustained only by coffee and pure, unrelenting rage
Let's be honest, I've seen a decent amount of dicks in my life and very few of them have been worth all the trouble.
Nothing like sitting at your midterm pissed at yourself because you put your graphing calculator batteries in your vibrator and forgot to put them back in before the exam 😑
All she has to do is text me and my dick gets hard. She asked how my day was going and it got hard.
my friends roomated asked me this morning if we went to mcdonalds last night and i had no idea...that is until i checked my purse and found half a mcdouble in it...
Whose the chick running for dorm president promising bigger dicks and softer toilet paper? That’s who I m voting for
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