smoked weed with Joakim Noah last night....if he was half as fast to the basket as he is to grab a joint from me we'd have another championship on our hands
A true measure of a good friend is how long she responds to her friends drunken illogical texts. Youre a champ.
I knew it was gonna be a rough night when the guys next to us at Relay for Life started shot gunning beers and yelling "This ones for all the hot chicks that went bald because of cancer". It kinda went downhill from there....
Fuck at this point id do just about anything for 20 bucks
That has been your downfall in past encounters with 20 dollars bills
Btw he dated my mom. You're Eskimo siblings with my mom. Good job.
I've justified worse with less. I had sex with your brother because he was wearing a nice sweater
Found a piece of twizzler in my buttcrack.
I spent half an hours grinding with a drunk Harry Potter cosplayer at the con rave. Pretty sure I felt his wand.
Well I passed out before 4:20 on 4/20 so I deem it a failure AND a success.
He called me khaleesi while I rode his dick. He wins
just called AAA to get my keys out of me car and then afterwards realized they were in my pocket...stoner life
I probably shouldn't be taking relationship advice from my side piece...
Get here now. I need a drinking buddy. I don't care if you're in a different timezone, it'll be five o clock here faster.
Sorry I missed your call earlier. I was getting high with my high school band teacher.
the voting booth dude cock blocked me or she woulda totally blown me in the voting booth.
Randomize
