I totally ignored my nose and drank sour milk this morning. The tupid carton said 4/22/09. i puked everywhere..
So I just had this crazy idea, and no it has nothing to do with the fact that they made me take shots at work.
a very overweight girl in the ER just said she trippped over the invisible wii jump rope and fell
@ a funeral. fucking miss uuuu
I bought a bottle of 100 proof for the storm. I am going to drink until I pass out. I'm taking bets. 1:30 pm is the over/under.
turn left when you see the girl thats puking on the sidewalk. she hasnt been moving much so she makes a good street marker
It's confirmed. We did xmas carol the grocery store across the street from his building at 2:30am... Only the staff was there.
Apparently I spent my 300 dollar tax return by ordering ramen on amazon last night. Please tell me this will somehow pay off in the long run.
You were yelling at the bowl of salad and telling it to quit taunting you and telling you to go to tacobell
somebody put my brain in a crown royal bag and beat the shit out of it
My living room is scattered with glow sticks wrappers, sparklers, face paint & beer cans?
It's not as cool looking when the drugs wear off, is it?
She walked out and announced that he was now part of our confused, incestuous, glorious eskimo family. I've never been more proud.
Campus is too small for this to keep happening
Momentum is force x velocity. So therefore velocity is 0 - hammered, and force is ur legs locked up and ur face hits the ground.
I felt paralized they just wouldnt move. We need segways when were drunk cuz if we start to fall forward they well take off and save the fall.
Is it weird that I was turned on when he told me he had a vasectomy?
I knew you two would hit it off
You know your life has gone off the rails when waking up in a Spanish hospital with alcohol poisoning and no memory of how you got there is not even your top wildest drinking story.
Randomize
