Erica just called me. She woke up in a storage closet in Mike's building with one shoe and no bag. Can you check your photos from last night to see if she had it at the bar?
We should probably just have a threeway and get everyone on the same page.
...just for future reference, one Four Loko can fits PERFECTLY in a venti iced coffee cup from Starbucks
My phone really needs to stop auto correcting "library" to "ovary".
so you told her it was a 'nam scar? i mean, how old does she think you are.
It's a special occasion. Hence the 151.
Almost propositioned sex in exchange for a study guide for my final tomorrow.
admittedly, it's a little weird getting relationship advice from the mother of a former one night stand. but she's a wise lady and she buys me drinks, so i'm ok with it.
Just rinsed and put my styrofoam cup of noodles in the dishwasher. I need to be not hungover ASAP
Spent 20mins wondering why my roommate wouldn't answer after we were pounding on the door.....Def went to the wrong building.
If you were more comfortable around gay men, then you too could get wasted at the gay dance club and go home with hot girls.
And on the first day of my adult job, I matched with one of my co workers on tinder...
I havent moved from the couch and I'm licking peanut butter from a spoon, I'm a beautiful person.
I just smoked weed out of a tomahawk, then chased an armadillo with said tomahawk, I love my life.
I'm with jana at walgreens picking out penis rings.... Did you know they sell vibrators at walgreens? Wtf?
Randomize
