So...we accidentally left a bag of puke in your sister's room. Heads up.
People with herpes should wear stickers.
my roommate's gf just broke up with him and hes in his room crying and listening to coldplay while beating off to pictures of her...
That girl gave me her number because you were arrested. I am so proud of you dude.
She was our DD the least I could do is have sex with her. Even when drunk I'm still chivalrous.
The forest. Magic mushrooms. Wind trees leaves sky. That is alll.
I dunno. The only plans I have for sure after finals are smoking a bowl and eating a 5 pound gummy bear. btw I bought a 5 pound gummy bear
I specialize in how to hang out and party with randoms after you've hooked up with them. Not in feelings.
If you take a post shower shit just get back in bed. You're better off starting your whole morning all over again.
it'll be okay! And just think of this ultrasound as the most action you've had in a month...
What the World Series means to me is that I've slept with too many giants fans.
Damn him and his beautiful face and body and penis.
He woke up from being passed out on the couch mumbled something that sounded like "Taco" then proceeded to the bathroom only to pass out again, I think we need to learn how to party like him!
It's a race to see if I finish the bottle first or my homework
He was singing on top of spaghetti, and then started crying. He said it was the saddest song ever, "so so sad".
Randomize
