She has her iPod in her ears slippers and sweats on and is walking around the house up and down the stairs getting "exercise" she just stopped for a water break
Woke up to sesame street reruns and a $62 pizza bill. Never again. I mean it this time.
Remember that foreign guy who never talked last night? He just came out of my bathroom when I woke up.
I think there was chlamydia in those woods.
I think she was eating a cup of ramen noodles while we banged, or had a seizure
So. She dumped me today.
Well, maybe you shouldn't have referred to going down on her as "Dumpster-Diving".
I figured out that he lasts longer when I rap during sex. He made it all the way through "Love the Way you Lie"
so apparently going to a christian rock concert dressed as Jesus is horribly inappropriate.
I came back and almost ran over two people passed out in my driveway I've never met before in my life
I picked up a chick last night on crutches wearing a I am boobman tshirt. I love raves.
I want you to know that the guy who peed in your bed got fat.
I remember you fighting a small man for the last of the pizza. Was there a midget in my house last night?
Are you trying to say I've made an emotionally well rounded transformation similar to the Grinch?
I've broken 3 vibrators in the past month because I apparently am "too rough" with them. Is that even possible?!
We’ve discussed sex and dinner. Like chicken nuggets while doing it doggie and watching tv.
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