he just said he was sorry he wasnt been able to come by more often coz things are really crazy with that girl
you mean his girlfriend
Oh well. haha. i couldn't really understand what she was saying. i just nodded a lot. i guesss she found that sexy.
gotta love spring break
gotta love slutty girls from the south
All I remember was the chick screaming "don't hookup with him! His dick's the size of a cucumber"
I think all I remember saying is, "I love Chris Berman's voice" and then I passed out
Sorry about flashing you in front of your mom.
I almost got on a bus to Langley Air Force Base. 99% sure that's not where I wanna be.
It was just...long. I started around 2. And I think i went to bed around 2. So 12 straight hours? I remember a milkshake and frozen grapes.
I yelled "NO FLEX ZONE!!!" at the guy that thinks it's cool to take off his shirt at the party then proceeded to puking
I just got offered free tattoos if I smuggle some guns from OKC to Dallas for a guy in the hells angels
drinking vodka out of a wine glass to feel a little bit classier about myself.
We're starting to light shit on fire, bring a metal bucket. Be prepared, Jimmy's off his meds.
Woman doing my Brazilian right now says to tell you she says hi...what has our life come to?
Idk what's worse.... Yesterday not waking up in my bed or today waking up in the hello kitty gown.
Last time i cooked this high i tried to makw bacon amd then burned myselfbon the grill, only to realize 25min latwr when the bacon wouldnt cook that the grill wasn't on. I IMAGINED the burn.
Remember how I was complaining about how no guy has ever gotten me off?
Randomize
