Aj just asked if we were going to the bulldog tonight..i told her no because of the expense and tests coming up..but mostly because i don't want herpes
eating raw peppers to burn the taste of semen out of my mouth
I managed to throw up 90 feet under water, just removed my breathing tube, puked, put it back in. All inclusive is the way to go.
Because the last time i saw or spoke to him he came all over me in a hammock.
christmas break will be like the 25 days of orgasms
oh dont worry, my liver will give out way before i get skin cancer
He asked me out while I'm back in town. I have to acknowledge and honor his persistence.
Your vagina must be laced with cocaine...
You know what i just remembered? I asked the 8 ball if i was gonna get kicked out this semester before any of this stuff happened and it said yes. ITS REAL.
I'm pretty sure the bus driver knew how hung over I was and hit all the pot holes on purpose. I threw up into my water bottle.
I showed up to a booty-call in my onesie pajamas and rubber boots
Omg he has a washer and dryer IN his apartment and lots of back up toilet paper. I went home with an adult. My uterus is pumping out eggs beyond my control.
I didn't want to but I was drunk in a Disney bathroom with her and had a weak moment.
I had wine for breakfast at 6am, that's how visiting my parents went.
So TMI but just realizing I have not masturbated since trump took office. He's sucked the sex drive out of me.
Are you still in his room?
Nope, yogged home at 8 am with one shoe on.
Randomize
