Got separated, got a half bj, got dropped off in random part of the city, don't tell anyone
Yea well when i pee it makes steam.
shit is crazy. i just keep thinking that this kid growing inside Emily used to live in my balls.
I have show me your genitals stuck in my head. Except in spanish. Muestrame tus genitals. Tus genitals.
I hate cats. They're so curious, it's not their damn business.
Dude, 1 prime defect in the snuggie- you can't fuck someone discreetly under a snuggie. No way no how
Umm ok I'm kinda freaked out right now bc the chick that lives next door is either having tantric sex or slowly suffocating her dog to death.
I'm sorry. Both for you two breaking up and because I just ate some of your cheez it's.
I have no idea what happened last night, but you're the only person I remember smashing my face into. Be honored.
If you ever bitch out on 72oz margarita night again, this friendship is over
I can't tell if they're having sex or watching the beach scene from Saving Private Ryan. All I know is I hear explosions and men screaming and crying
Oh and I ate all of your Cinnamon Toast Crunch. Consider it part of your reparation payment for accidental anal insertion. I may continue to collect payments until I am no longer sore.
I'm drunk doing an ab workout. I can only hope I make it to bed tonight.
Listen, you eat the donut. I eat you out. Everybody wins.
no offense but you looked like shit yesterday
tequila is unforgiving..
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