508, what difference does it make? You were alone, anyway.
Yeah we had sex for the first time last night and all the text he sent me afterwards said was “heh”
i have a feeling he has a nice dick. i can just sense it.
Bisexual people are plain selfish.
Well I'm glad to hear the fight wasnt over his small dick.
and hes going back to rehab like me, so we have common interests
she passed out facedown in my lap while I was playing piano. 11 years of piano lessons finally paid for themselves.
My wedding band has saved me from at least four cases of herpes tonight.
I'm wearing a shirt that says "birthday girls #1 homo" ...what has my life come to?
I would ask what did you do but I feel like who did you do is probably more appropriate
I honestly don't think it will ever get topped. Unless a real female cop arrests me, then fucks me. That's it.
Not only did I get beyond cray cray this weekend. My body has nursed itself to plentiful and impeccable health. Fuck you world, I am back.
I just want to be like i dont know you but ive seen your penis & i like it
You grabbed my arm, said "I need you" in a very concerned voice and dragged me to the other room where you were blasting Evolution of Beyoncé.
I remember her making the first martini but the rest of the weekend is a blur of vodka, high heels and sex toys.
First time being used by a cougar. Definitely okay with it
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