too bad you can't see the clap by looking at her face.
she is a standing ovation.
She told me that she had to rub her face against me because she was part cat.
do you really not remember him getting up at like 4am with a leaf blower running through the house and telling people to "WAKE THE FUCK UPPP"
fact: I now appreciate my drunken winter self even more. I just found $20 in my winter coat with a note that says keep yourself warm next winter. I am awesome.
No, i will not have sex with him again. It felt like he was trying to bulldoze his way through me. My vagina is on strike.
Also I feel that I would be a hell of a sled dog operator.
Stoned, and eating Doritos, and reading about lesbians for class. This is the life.
Are you setting a date to bone me?
Are you accepting?
If she "comes out" to me I guess I'll high five her. That's pretty much my response to everything these days.
Tent sex on an air mattress requires balance and flexibility. Not for the faint of heart
...is this motivational speaking, or sexting? It's getting hard to tell.
Yeah,I'm just gonna keep fucking other guys til this idiot figures out he loves me.
i'll explain later but cookie monster is playing the xylophone
I'm stuck on a cliff. I'm not sure how I got here or how to get down. Please send help. And clothes.
I just thought I should tell you that I always know what you are doing. Everywhere. Every time. -Your loving Mother
Randomize
