I had a talk with my mom about respecting myself and not acting like a whore so she will rip my nose ring out if she somehow sees that picture
I just watched the quarterback of Purdue get shut down by a girl at a bar. not a good omen
I have one brief flash of having his dick in my hand. that's all I remember.
kerrys trying to convince everyone in the bar shes a lesbian. cheers to not being the drunkest girl in the room. i probably wont piss myself tonight.
Its ok we found him,,, He is in the bathroom trying to write his life story on a roll of toilet paper.
Did I at antime last saturday slip away and sign up for a prayer circle?
Just got my period. This just makes my beach escapade totally even that much more ok.
I wish I could like. Pull my liver out, and put it in the corner of a boxing ring, put a towel and ice on it, rub it's shoulders, and tell it to "get back in there, you got this!".
I have just figured that it takes exactly 2 and a half rums to clean the bathroom..
I'm FaceTiming Pizza Hut.
Literally the only clue I have to try and figure out my blackout adventures is a draft on twitter that just says "Mummies alive!"
What did you two do last night and why did Sam send me a picture of your dick?
Let's ride this possibly pregnant train together
if anyone breaks out the olive oil & slip n slide, text me 911.
We were playing fuck marry kill and he was eavesdropping so I said I would fuck him
It was like catching dick in a barrel
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