What do you think she thinks of us?
I think she thinks we're whores... but ya I think she likes us
it's 4 am, i'm drinkin beer and re-drywalling my bathroom. this could possibly be a bad idea.
i broke up with my boyfriend last night because i had to eat a freezy pop in every color and he ate the last blue one. i sat on the floor and cried for an hour at least. everyone left. so i decided that this whole weed thing isnt really healthy for my relationships.
The lack of pants and amount of productivity in my life right now is amazing.
He was drinking a long island through his Breathalyzer tube.
Getting business cards printed for tonight. Would you rather be: 1. Vice President of Argentina 2. Celebrity Dental Assistant or 3. Dial-Up Internet Technician
3. Dial-Up Internet Technician.
20 bottles of wine, 3 cases or beer, and 5 bottles in my kitchen... My parents are teasing me.
I'm stoned entirely off resin. Licking my blankets. Merry Christmas. Jesus died for our sins. Yay Jesus. I love you.
He filled four shots of Everclear and walked around saying "FREE VODKA SHOTS". he is to blame.
I never thought my Saturday night would end up with someone crawling around my carpet for 3 hours trying to pick up spilled coke...
I never thought my Saturday night would end up with ME crawling around your carpet for 3 hours trying to save my investment.
I had to dig my own trench to puke in at the resort. That much fun.
Sorry I didn't call this morning. Ended up with a decorated war veteran last night who besides finding the enemy, KNEW where the fuck my G spot was. He gets a medal in my book!
Every morning should start with 2 orgasms and a shoulder massage
I walked in on a circlejerk after punching that guy out. Instant karma.
She put her coat on went to leave and called me an asshole. I responded with "I never said I wasn't" and then she pounced on me like a cat on cat nip.
Randomize
