Why is it people are always in costumes on Cheaters these days? Joe Greco literally just said, "It appears they get chased by a chicken with a chainsaw." WTF?
No, we just ended up walking around in his pool high and singing songs by The Wiggles.
My mom just bought me $200 worth of booze on the condition that I promise I won't have to go to rehab eventually
At one point, the guy you were fucking high-fived with the guy I was fucking. We should hang out with them again?
We were naked in bed for hours and we didn't have sex. Either he's gay or he wants to respect me. Neither of which I approve of.
i'm gonna fuck his crew, i'm gonna wax my asshole. i'm gonna make them all cry tears of sex joy then move to colorado.
He set two of my ex boyfriends on fire at two different bars without anyone knowing it was him or how it happened either time. He might be a fucking super hero
I mean, they were small fires and no one got hurt, but still. Awesome.
Male strippers are involved. You are coming
I rigged together two of my vibrators for more power... I've created a monster.
I think having a vagina should be considered a skill, give me a break.
I think my sunburn makes my ass look bigger
I feel like there's no sexy way to pull 12 condoms out of your bra.
Just jacked in the family restroom in the hospital while eating beef jerky and looking at reddit gone wild.
But I thought it was so funny last night
You also thought you were a gypsy mermaid last night
Laying on my driveway in my pajamas in the sun having my severe hangover cigarette, and the daycare house across the street is having playtime in the yard! I believe I'm currently being what's known as a "bad example!"
Randomize
