i think i just was awoken by the sound of my roommate choking on her boyfriend's dick
I did that thing again where I get way too drunk and go gay. Then wake up in the morning and freak out at the person. Yet another bar I cannot go back to
i always forget that thursday isnt the weekend in the real world
Wine + wine + wine + wine + bud light = puke.
the moment we started interpretive dancing last night wouldve been a good time to stop drinking.
Well I think I made it pretty obvious I wasn't in to it. I was drinking a beer while he was going down in me
You know I'm dangerous when I have make-out withdrawals
I'm not letting you use my bathroom unsupervised anymore. You peed in the sink thinking it was a urinal...
His name is Angel. I'm pretty sure he was sent from heaven solely to eat me out.
Slap a cop in the butt for a felony charge. Check.
She gave me a boner for the first time in 9 years.
I'm just going to take a nap and hope I wake up more attractive.
Idk if my headache is from the alcohol, the pot brownies, or being dragged down 8 flights of stairs by my ankles because i passed out in the 12th floor girls bathroom by you. Probably a combo of all three.
The end of the friendship was inevitable. I hooked up with her cousin and forgot to mention it to her
this kid sitting diagonally in front of me is searching "cheap bongs" on google. hahahhaaha. who does this kid think he is?
Randomize
