apparently my drunken alterego is a lazyeyed bisexual.
I don't think you'd be able to understand Inception if you weren't high...
there is a dude in the bar with no arms getting fed beers by his friends
You try staying up all night fucking a guy with a curved dick and see how much you want to go out after that.
You are not allowed to borrow my car ever again. It smells like a hobo orgy happened in my backseat with a hint of onion. What did you do.
Drunk me forgot I'm not an 18yr old raver anymore. Adult me is now in pain.
I seriously had to check my phone this morning to make sure I didn't agree to any strange sexual favors.
He walks in. We each have a tiki torch. We say, the tribe has spoken. We put his out and then stab him with it.
Are you doing trivia tonite? Also sorry I peed on you.
I am just saying if Clark Kent walks into your life, you fuck him
I wish I could be happy with a nice Christian girl, but no, I need a hot mess who starts bar fights
I wouldn't say I LOVE Pacman. I mean, sure, I'd battle against you in an epic Pacman struggle for blow jobs and glory. But I mean, who wouldn't?
Also, fucking on half deflated air mattresses is a great full body work out.
Dude you were so wasted you thought a fake electric candle was real and tried to light your cig with it. Multiple times.
he's single and there are thong briefs.
Randomize
