thats the only time ive ever had sloppy firsts
at a bonfire and someone threw a plastic cup in the fire. everyone immediately stopped what they were doing to yell collectively at him about what he was doing to the environment, then went back to drinking
only in oregon
there are too many children here to make this hangover-friendly
That chick needs a catscan. And fuck it, we're still ordering in a stripper
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I am sweating out the vodka to make room for the whiskey tonight.
Call me when you wake up. I wanna start drinking but I'm giving up hope on my life if I drink alone before 10 am
If I get over there and the april fools joke is that there's no HBO, I'm setting fire to the place.
The band last night was really good
That was definitely karaoke. Guess that answers my follow up question on how drunk you were.
also, am i correct in guessing that advertising the size of my hypothetical penis is a turnoff to him?
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I'm kinda glad you won't be in Vegas tomorrow because you'd make us go streaking or throw dead animals at them.
Hey do you remember me?
You were a giant banana.... how could I forget.
How I know I would be an awful mother....I just stirred the bong up with a baby fork. A literal baby fork....
As long as there is beach, drink, dick, in that order. I’m in.
dude i haven't had a solid dump since sunday and i still cant hear out of my right ear
I would really like it if you guys got out of my bush
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