Your lack of dick hurts my anus. I hate your loverboy tactics.
he's a nude model. what could you have done to make him feel awkward??
when she said she would show you her other bow, she ment she wanted you to bend her over and see the tattoo on her lower back you idiot
he was chasing shots of soco with fistfuls of my birthday cake
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
gonna sleep on the stairs... to drunk to keep going up, way to drunk to go down, gonna find a comfy spot right here... its safer that way
sometimes i think life is slapping me across the face and laughing, saying "ha ha! you're an adult!"
Just don't have "pin the tail on the straight edge" as a party game... Please and thanks...
It's been decided..lingerie is an investment. You get free breakfast and cab rides out of it.
Some guy thought i was the waitress and handed me his credit card. drinks on me.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
There's a man in a pumpkin/reaper outfit advertising a new head shop outside the Taco Bell. I love this town.
Is it bad that I'm tracking my period with Instagram pictures?
well at least you didn't have your nipples chewed last night
Hey man, when I left for work she was laying on the couch naked cuddling your keurig, can you clean that mess up?
I officially have worse injuries from a baby shower than roller derby.
Whenever someone said no you would yell "Die Motherfucker." Kind of like some twisted drinking game.
Randomize