i just walked outside for a cigarette and three men walked by in glitter heels and gold shiny thongs. god i love chicago
I put so much effort into my vagina today. If i don't get laid tonight I'm gonna be pissed.
do you guys have 30-35 shot glasses? because if not, i don't even see a point in me coming
He just "revenge puked" on her kid. I think we'll be leaving soon.
He's like my sex unicorn. Elusive and majestic. I'll catch him, I'm baiting with patron.
Nope. If I'm going to drive an hour to fuck a teacher, it will NOT be missionary thats for damn sure.
Oh you have a half-brother? Why that's right up my alley! Let's cause family strife
Tearing families apart since 2011.
There just aren't enough words in the English language to convey my deep and abiding love of your cock. So I am beefing up on my Portuguese.
My wife ladies and gentlemen! Love ya babe.
Nothing ends a night of heavy drinking better than banging to three six mafia in your own driveway
So question, would you consider it morally wrong to grind up Cialas and put it in ones cocktail? Then I get what I want and he doesn't have to be embarrassed and he can win the mental game with himself? I'm only thinking of him...
When you have to have Siri remind you that you're on your period cuz you're so drunk you keep forgetting about tampons it might be time to call it a night.
I mean, how am I going to build a relationship on trust if he finds out I roofied him?
IM AT A ROOFTOP FUNDRAISER LOOKING OVER THE WHITE HOUSE I WILL NOT RUIN MYSELF
Maybe whip a sausage around while you do it and pour some beer on you. Like a German white snake video
Ya know. I was thinking of my slutty moments the other day and finally know which one makes the number 1 spot.
Randomize
