He was singing Will Smith Just the Two of Us to his burrito. That high.
We woke up, fucked, and shared a piece of my sister's first communion cake for breakfast.
And you thought you were going to hell last weekend.
dude uncooked spaghetti noodles dipped in thousand island dressing is better than it sounds
You "were" hungover, which is past tense. So that gives you no excuse not to go out tonight.
I want him to be my next love. So I'm taking it slow
As in ill only blow him next week
I remember all the people and all the acts I just have to match the person with the act
Its everclear night, yall need carbs in your body!
It's 2pm, and I just had to pass a guy in the turning lane because he was driving down Main Street in an electric wheelchair pulling a flatbed trailer with 2 of his buddies in it and they were all drunk holding beers.
I told my mom I'm great in bed. That is quality mother daughter bonding.
There is a Victoria's Secret pageant on right now with Taylor Swift singing in lingerie. I didn't know a penis could get this erect.
WHEN JENDA BENDA THE DRAG QUEEN TELLS YOU TO RUN, YOU RUN, BITCH!!!
He licked the buffalo sauce off my fingers and then we had the best sex of my life.
Is it immoral to trade sex for the use of his laundry room?
I dont even remember what i was saying but just one minute i was crying and the next i was showing u my genitals
Also, two points for knowing me well enough to know I definitely would put the moves on his brother.
Randomize
