Nope changed our mind. Decided your strange bacon like body odor wasn't what we want to smell tonight.
pray for me tomorrow cause I have a midterm that I've mostly studied for by watching Bill Nye episodes on the subject...
The toilet started ringing, I think I just found your phone.
I wonder if that one guy remembers you sticking salami to his forehead when he was passed out on new years eve.
Then, he just started shoving orange pieces in my mouth as a chaser
He stopped replying so I told him I got tested and it came back positive for chlamydia to see if he replied. His phone magically works again!
I woke up on karas dogs bed. Lets evaluate our lives.
It was great. They teamed up to hit on these two frat boys all night, until the frat boys started making out with each other. The looks on their faces...
Just got back from the tanning beds. I'm a lobster. I fear for the safety of my nipples falling off.
You need to stop me from lighting my hand on fire next time we're working
I had to hypnotize my roommate last night so there's that.
MEG JUST LICKED A DRAIN PIPE. DAVE PUNCHED MATT IN THE THROAT. ALL BOUNDARIES ARE DOWN. I REPEAT. ALL BOUNDARIES ARE DOWN.
My professor just paused class to answer a phone call from her dog. Im taking shots before this class from now on.
I’m not washing my pussy with handsoap.
i did these weird ass ab exercises once that left me queefing for weeks
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